The first day of January seems to roll around quicker with each year, and with that comes the age old tradition of New Years resolutions. These well-intentioned goals often revolve around self-improvement, lifestyle changes, or the pursuit of long-held dreams. However, the harsh reality is that, more often than not, these resolutions fizzle out before the first month of the year concludes. In fact, studies show that only 19% of people are able to keep their resolutions. Let’s delve into why New Year’s resolutions frequently fall short of our expectations and explore alternative approaches to personal growth.
Unrealistic Expectations:
The most common pitfall to New Year’s resolutions is the establishment of unrealistic expectations. Setting the bar too high – for example, giving up social media – can lead to frustration and a sense of failure when we eventually give into it. More importantly, repeat attempts at unrealistic goals can lead to false hope syndrome. So, instead of aiming for drastic and immediate changes, consider setting smaller, achievable milestones that align with your long-term practices. For instance, you may want to decrease your social media usage by 15 minutes each month. Think of finding a space for moderation!
Ambiguous Plans:
A resolution without a well-defined plan is akin to setting sail without a compass. Vague goals like “get fit” or “eat healthier” lack the specificity needed for effective implementation. To enhance your chances of success, break down your resolution into actionable steps. The use of SMART goals can help you with this! So, if your goal is exercise based – let’s say, getting back into running – you may want to work towards completing your local park run (5km) without stopping by the end of 2024.
Absence of Accountability:
Accountability is a powerful motivator. Sharing your goals with friends, family, or a mentor can provide the external support needed to stay on track. Consider forming an accountability partnership where you and a friend share your goals and check in regularly to discuss progress and challenges. Knowing that someone else is aware of your aspirations can boost commitment.
Overlooking the Importance of Habits:
Resolutions often focus on outcomes rather than the habits that lead to those outcomes. Real change is rooted in habits, and neglecting this crucial aspect can hinder progress. Instead of fixating on end goals, concentrate on building positive habits that align with your aspirations. Over time, these habits will become ingrained, leading to sustainable change. For more information of building good habits, you can check out James Clear’s book Atomic Habits.
All-or-Nothing Mentality:
The all-or-nothing mentality is a common pitfall that can derail resolutions. Believing that a single misstep warrants abandoning the entire resolution sets an unrealistic standard. Instead, take on an “Small-Medium-Large” approach to goal setting. You want to Marie Kondo your kitchen these holidays? The large version of this goal is reorganising the whole kitchen; the medium version of this goal may be focusing on the pantry; and the small version of this goal may be taking on one shelf at a time. Work with what’s in your bandwidth!
Lack of Intrinsic Motivation:
Resolutions often falter when the motivation behind them is extrinsic rather than intrinsic. If your goals are driven by societal expectations or external pressures, sustaining motivation can be challenging. Reflect on your values and personal desires to identify goals that genuinely resonate with you. Intrinsic motivation provides a sustainable foundation for lasting change.
Failure to Adapt:
Life is unpredictable, and circumstances change. Resolutions that don’t account for adaptability are prone to failure. Be willing to reassess and adjust your goals based on evolving circumstances. Flexibility is a key component of successful long-term personal development.
Overlooking the Present Moment:
New Year’s resolutions often focus on future outcomes, leading individuals to overlook the importance of the present moment. Cultivate mindfulness and appreciate the journey itself. By savoring small victories and finding joy in the process, you can enhance your overall well-being and maintain a positive mindset.
While the tradition of setting New Year’s resolutions is deeply ingrained in our culture, understanding the pitfalls and adopting alternative approaches can lead to more successful and fulfilling personal growth. Embrace realistic goals, create concrete plans, foster accountability, prioritize habits, and cultivate intrinsic motivation. By doing so, you can navigate the complexities of change with resilience and a greater chance of sustained success.
If one of your goals for 2024 is to start your therapeutic journey, be sure to reach out to us to arrange a 15 minute free zoom consultation. Let’s discuss your treatment goals and put some plans into action!
